Bears of Hope

Lots of good things seem to land on my front doorstep in the early hours of the morning. I think the Australia Post parcel delivery guy must be up at the crack of dawn, and that I must live near the warehouse where he picks the parcels up as no matter how early I get up they are always there waiting for me. He places them gently behind a pillar in front of our house so that they’re visible to me when I look out the front window but so that no one can see them from the street.

Anyway, this morning two packages were waiting for me - one from Bears of Hope and one from the Teddy Love Club. Leslie is working from home today so we sat down and opened them together. Both organisations support bereaved parents. When I found out about them a few weeks after Max was born, I discovered that they provide care packs to hospitals to distribute to parents whose baby has died. Each pack includes a teddy bear, donated in memory of a child who has died, so that parents do not have to leave the hospital with empty arms, as I did. I was dismayed to find that those packs were not distributed to us in hospital. In fact, we were given no information of support organisations other than a list of funeral homes. I can’t help but feel this was a failing of the social worker, who seemed a bit clueless at the time, I remember. I don’t know for sure if this was her job, but it seems as though it should have been.

Bear of Hope

There is so much information that both of these organisations provide that I wish I’d had at the time. Things like ideas for spending time with your baby to make memories while you can. These things are very time specific - there is no point me finding out about things I could have done weeks after Max has been farewelled and cremated. I needed to know them in those crucial early few days and I’m more than a bit pissed off that I did not have access to that information. There are some other organisations I’ve found that will actually help you organise a funeral and make the hard phone calls you are not in a state to make. People need to know about these services!

I will be making it my duty to write to the hospital to ask why we did not receive information about the support available. I will also be doing my best to get information about that support to the people who need it. To start with, I will do so on this blog, which is the only platform I have at the moment. But I have skills in communications and PR that I plan to use to spread this crucial information, too. But that comes later, as do my plans to give something back to those who have helped us along this journey.

I contacted both of these organisations a week or so ago to let them know that I had just discovered them and that the hospital I gave birth in did not provide me with their information. They were both dismayed, and promised to investigate why the hospital was not participating in their programs (which they provide free-of-charge) or if they were, why we were not told of it. They both very generously sent me a bear, and in TLC’s case, a really thorough information pack and book of stories, to help me remember Max.

I have been emailing a really lovely lady, Robyn, from TLC, who I’ve just discovered is a fellow Tasmanian. She has been really helpful in sharing her story with me, but also in reassuring me that everything I’ve been going through is normal, and that there are some people who understand.

Their websites are here for you to have a look at, and I encourage you to pass on these details to anyone you hear of that might be in need. You can also donate money to help them continue their work, or send a bear to another family in Max’s name.

Teddy Love Club

Bears of Hope

Right now, I want to show you the gorgeous bears that are sitting beside me waiting for cuddles. My ‘Max’ bears. The bear sent to me by Bears of Hope was donated to me in honour of another baby who died. The card said her name is Imogene Kate and that she was born on 27th October 2008. I can’t help but think who you might have been, little Imogene, and I want your mummy and daddy to know that you are in my thoughts today, and that I am grateful they have done something amazing in your beautiful name.

My Teddy Love Club bear was donated to me in honour of little twin girls, Amie-Lee and Emily. I just found out about their story, which you can read here. What precious baby girls and how dearly they were loved and are missed.

I am very honoured to keep their memory alive alongside Max’s as I cuddle these bears tight.

Leslie with our baby bears

Teddy Love Club bear