Gratitude

After Max was born we were lucky enough to have a very talented midwife take some gorgeous photos of us with Max in the middle of the night. The next day, though, another photographer (a professional photographer) arrived to take some pictures of our baby. We did not fare so well in the photographs - we hadn’t slept and had been to hell and back - but Max came out beautifully. I look at every single one of those precious photos every day and thank god that we have them. I have no idea who this woman was. I only have her email address and website details. I sent her the following email. Though it doesn’t even begin to express the kind of humbled gratitude I feel for her services, I just wanted her to know that what she did that day changed our lives and we will never, never forget her…

Dear Jane,

On 25th November you met me at the Royal Women’s Hospital when you came to photograph by newborn son, Max, who had sadly died the night before after being born at only 23 weeks gestation. I am so sorry it has taken me so long to write this email. As you can imagine, my life has been turned absolutely upside down. Sometimes I don’t even know what day it is or how much time is passing; everything is such a blur.

I was in shock that day, and still very groggy from the drugs they had given me, and I hadn’t slept for about two days. I barely remember you coming, and I have no idea how you ended up there, but I will be eternally grateful for the precious images of my baby that I now have to keep because you were there. It must be a very difficult thing to do and I admire your courage in walking into a room full of strangers that have just experienced the worst day of their lives. You must havea very special heart.

I would like you to know that your heart has touched mine. Those images are all I have of my only child. I can’t tell you how many times they have been pawed over and passed around and cried upon. I can’t bear to look at them but at the same time I can’t stop looking at them as they express Max’s beauty and peacefulness so honestly. I will treasure them until the day I die - they are truly my most prized possessions. My labour was sudden and I did not even have a change of clothes let alone a camera with me so I don’t have any of my own photos. For some strange reason we didn’t even think of using our phones to take pictures and I really regret that now. I wish I had a million pictures of him, but I know that no matter how many I had it would never be enough.

Tell me, what is your connection to the hospital, and how did you end up in my room that morning?

I wish I could thank you, some how, for everything you did for us.

I notice on your website that you normally photograph happy occasions - weddings and parties. Some day in the future, if our family is blessed to experience a happier occasion - I know where I will come to have my memories recorded, and I’ll be a very lucky customer.

With much gratitude, and best wishes,

Janelle