Alice at Fourteen Months Old

We've been in double digits for a while now but 14 months old just seems so grown up. You are so big now,  my baby, and you are getting so tall. Once you spent all of your time laying down. Then, when you could sit, you did that, and nothing else would do! Now, though, you are mostly upright. You never want to lie down, not even for a nappy change. I guess lying down is for babies, huh? And you're making it clearer day by day that you're not a tiny little baby anymore!

You're not yet walking independently but I get a real sense that you absolutely could if you felt like it. Every time we think you're *that* close you seem to lose interest. When we try and get you to stand on your feet and walk along holding our hands you just collapse your legs and start rapidly crawling away! You do like toddling along behind your trolley or doll's pram. Once we get you get started on that you don't want to stop and you get the biggest grin on your face. It makes me so happy to see that smile, especially when you are beaming with delight because you've achieved something new. You're beginning to experience the feeling of pride, I think. You often applaud yourself, like when you put a shape in the correct hole of your shape sorter. I know you must have learned this from us - we were so desperate to teach you to clap (you were a bit slow in the clapping milestone stakes!) that we clapped every time you did something remotely interesting! It is really cute to see you do it, but nowhere near nowhere near as cute as when you give me a round of applause after singing you a song! I love it!

You've been sick again this last week or so, and so have I. More viruses, more fevers and more sleepless nights. You're also teething. A molar is coming through on the top right hand side and it looks really nasty and sore. I think it has been giving you pain. When I'm feeling under the weather too I find it so hard not to let everything overwhelm me and on some days I feel like I haven't really enjoyed you as much as I should have. I've been frustrated and tired, sometimes even wishing you'd just go to sleep so I could just sit down or get something done around the house (ie. perhaps mop the filthy kitchen floor). I know I shouldn't think those things, and I feel so guilty for it, but I guess it is normal to get a bit over the daily grind of it every now and again. I know everyone must have those days but I think because I feel I should be constantly grateful for having you here (and I am) that I'm inviting something bad to happen to you if I take you for granted for even a second. I try to give myself a break but that part of being your mum is hard, continually hard. I wish I didn't fear so much that you could be so easily snatched away.

This month you have been learning to blow kisses at daycare. I've also been trying to teach you the actions to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. You've started putting up your little chubby hands in the air trying to copy me and it melts my heart. You are so observant at the moment, trying to copy everything I do. You are experimenting all the time with different ways to move your body and showing off lots of new impressive dance moves! You're also trying out lots of new sounds and tricks with your mouth. You're spending a lot of time clicking your tongue or opening and closing your mouth like a goldfish. I blame daddy for that one as he does it to you all the time! He also taught you to make a ninja sound, which everyone makes the mistake of thinking is 'hiya', as in a friendly greeting, but which is actually 'hiiiiiiiyaaaaaa', you know, the sound of a ninja fighting move! You also quite clearly say hello now and you are understanding so much more of what we say to you. You know what 'bye bye' means and your day carers commented on how well you respond to instructions. They were so surprised and excited when they called your name and you put up your hand, and when they tell you it is story time you are able to go and get a book and take it over to the teacher to read to you. I wish I could be there to see that.

You're making deliberate requests for things you want now, not so much by pointing as extending your hand out to them. I'm pretty sure you think doing so initiates some kind of telekinesis as we normally give the thing straight to you if you've asked for it. You are getting frustrated at times because you clearly know what you want but Mummy and Daddy don't quite understand your requests. We offer you everything within sight but get it wrong every time! You like asking for your water bottle and you get excited when you go in your high chair as you know it is time to eat. You can be a bit impatient when you are hungry and you don't quite understand that I need to cool down your food before you can have it! You also don't like waiting for your milk bottle to come out of the microwave! You're also beginning to anticipate things - such as bath time - which is fun, but it has a flip side when I take you to daycare because you now recognise that I'm going to leave you there and you cling to me as we walk down the corridor to your room. That makes it even harder to leave you but I know you have a good time with your little friends there and you are always so happy when I pick you up in the afternoons.

You're still quite particular with your food and refuse things for no apparent reason one minute that you'll happily munch on the next. We never know if we are going to get a good meal into you or not and it is stressful because I worry that you are hungry or that you are not getting all the nutrients you need. Also, it is kind of annoying because I've been putting in so much effort making meals for you! I'm not a natural in the kitchen so it is damn hard work! I've been making you recipes with ingredients I've never heard of and can't even pronounce to ensure you end up a confident eater. I've been getting into the super foods and the finger foods and the family meals, but sometimes all you want is a cheese sandwich and a handful of grapes, or your absolute favourite thing in the whole wide world - sultanas. You love drinking water and are so good at drinking out of a straw. You make the cutest 'gulp gulp' sounds as you're drinking, exaggerated, like a cartoon character or something! You're getting surprisingly good at feeding yourself with a fork or spoon. I didn't think children could feed themselves with utensils until a much older age but you are really quite good at it. You haven't wanted to be spoon fed pretty much ever so I guess I've been letting you practice doing it yourself and putting up with the ensuing mess. I'm pleased to see that it is paying off!

One of your favourite things to do at the moment is to post little objects inside other, bigger objects. You love getting hold of our coffee mugs and filling them up with assorted dummies you've collected (and which we've usually been frantically looking for the night before) then systematically taking them out and doing it all over again. And again. And again. And again! You are also obsessed with trying to put things in other people's mouths! You keep trying to feed us and you don't take no for an answer! Even Kitty is not safe. You keep trying to put your dummy into his mouth. He is not so keen on you at the moment as you are being a bit rough with him, pulling his leg, his collar and his hair. You're getting better, and you understand how to pat gently, but you get a bit overexcited at times and the temptation is just too much.

Your favourite toy right now seems to be your shape sorter. You are getting really good at putting the shapes in the holes, but then occasionally you also put other things through the holes, like your grapes! Your Fisher Price dinosaur also collects a lot of your snacks and other toys - pieces of toast, apple and some of your Duplo blocks. We never know what we are going to find inside him!  You're loving your Duplo blocks and love to pack them back into their box and then tip them out again because they make such a big rattly noise. Your little box of Mr Men books is also a current favourite, as well as some toy kitchen utensils that you bang on things to make big clanging sounds. The other thing you love to do, which we are actively discouraging, is to race to the kitchen when we are not looking and dip your hands in the cat water bowl before tipping it out all over the floor. We really don't like it when you do that! And you are now desperate to make your way to the study on the days Daddy is working from home. You're intent on switching off his computer and because the study is near the laundry you're also fascinated by watching the washing machine go around and around, which does at least once a day now because you get so dirty and create so much washing! I can't wait until I can delegate this task to you! You do help already, it is just that you have the process a bit backwards. You take things out of the clean washing basket and put them on the floor and rip the wet washing off the clothes airer instead of waiting for it to dry first.

You are really starting to enjoy being around other children, and seem to particularly like it when older children pay attention to you. You watch them so intently and I can already see you subtly trying to build relationships with other little people. You are so gentle with others. Lots of other babies your age are all with the pulling hair, poking out eyes and snatching toys from each other but you tend to just sit quietly and observe. I love this about you but I think you're going to have to start defending yourself a little better from the other, rougher children! Our playgroup session on Wednesdays is going really, really well and you're just at the right age and ability level to really get excited about the different activities on offer for you. You always go straight for the soft climbing equipment and like being up on top of the big blocks. Here are some pictures of you enjoying Playgroup from last week. I love to see you having so much fun. I also love the chance to sit back for once and just observe you playing instead of being actively involved in playing with you. It gives me a whole other perspective on your personality as well as a nice chance to have a cup of tea and chat with the other mums. You always sleep really well afterwards too. All that play must really tire you out!

I think the next month or two are going to be really full of developmental milestones as you start to understand and participate more and more in the things going on around you. I can't wait to share all of the fun Winter days ahead with you, especially since I will be on holidays from work and we will have no other responsibilities eating into our time together.

I love you, my little girl.

Love Mummy.