Things-I-Love Thursday: Swing Dancing

Leslie suggested the subject matter for this week's Things-I-Love-Thursday. And he should know. That's where we met - swing dancing! I was a newcomer to Swing Patrol, and he a more experienced dancer. I'm sure we'd seen each other around before the day we met formally, but the first time we remember actually meeting was at an aerials workshop in Richmond one weekend. I was partnered up with him to practice a move known as the 'judo flip', which you can see in the following video if you fast-forward to just before 1:10.

 

I was a pretty nervous aerials participant. I'm not as light on my feet as I should be, despite being quite petite, and to be thrown in the air by a stranger you had to trust to keep you in one piece was quite a daunting prospect. Of course there is a lot of lead up to the actual aerial itself, and you have a spotter when you are learning, but it is still very nerve wracking, not to mention the fact that parts of you you didn't even know existed hurt like hell the next day...and the day after that...!

You get to know people very quickly and intimately when you're dancing with them like that. You reach a level of physical trust and intimacy that someone long before you would in any other context. Many firm friendships and relationships are formed in this community, illustrated by the fact that most swing dancers end up dating, marrying, or procreating with other swing dancers. As a result of our dancing, Leslie and I both shared a very firm friendship before we embarked upon a relationship together, and this friendship is still something that provides us with a very solid basis for our lives together. We genuinely enjoy each other's company, and to have this shared interest is something really special too. Not many couples have something like that.

Here we are performing at the annual Performance Ball, before we were actually a couple! It makes me smile so much to see us having such a great time in this video!

So how did I get involved in this amazing community? I was introduced to it through a friend of mine, Michael, when I was going through one of my many depressive bouts during my late twenties. I pretty much never left the house during some of this time, and I was feeling very isolated. He thought it would be something I'd enjoy, and that might bring me out of myself a little. He was right, on both counts, and I continued to go dancing long after he'd stopped going regularly.

Me and my friend Michael, who first introduced me to swing dancing, doing a little
performance at my Roaring Twenties-themed 30th birthday party.

Over the last eighteen months, though, I've barely been dancing at all, which I constantly regret, but can't seem to find the motivation to fix. Part of this is that I am a pathological perfectionist. Once something starts to get hard, and I realise I might have to be a bit crap at it for a while before I get better, I instantly don't want to do it anymore. This is by far one of my greatest weaknesses and something I really dislike about myself. There's so much more I'd be capable of learning or achieving if I didn't automatically think I had to be the best at it.

As a consequence of this silly thinking, once I was able to dance at a reasonable level, I lost the motivation to keep moving through the ranks with the advanced dancers. There are so many amazing dancers in swing community, and I couldn't ever see myself with their passion or pizazz, so I think I started to think 'what is the point?' if you are never going to be the best? This is very short-sighted of me, as the very pleasure of dancing is that you enjoy doing it no matter how good you are at it, and the truth is that I am not even half bad at it in the first place.

A few years ago, I wrote this article on swing dancing and depression for a university publication. It's timely for me to read it again as it really expresses all the things I love about swing dancing, and makes me realise I have more reason than ever to start going again. I need that jazz to bring me out of myself again! To bring me some joy!

Me frocked up with one of the lovely gentlemen of swing at a ball

What will it take to get me dancing again? Well pretty much I just need someone to get me out of the house upon force of death to turn up at the venue. Once you're there you can't have a bad time no matter how you try. That's the best part about it. I have so many friends from Swing Patrol who'd love to see me back, but I kind of feel like I'd be starting back at square one, and that I won't be able to keep up with the standard everyone I know is now at. There's nothing wrong with that, but as I mentioned before, I'm very hard on myself!

Leslie is performing at this year's Meet The Scene Ball, so maybe that'll be enough incentive for me to frock up and dust off my shoes. I'm sure seeing him dance with a thousand other women might be a bit of a kick in the right direction, at any rate! Hands off my man, ladies! Hands off!