Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) - Dixie Chicks

I only heard this song for the first time the other day but almost straight away it had me sobbing my eyes out - its sentiment expressing so much of what I feel in my heart but have had trouble putting into words. I wish I’d heard it before Max’s funeral as I would have loved to have played it there. It is such a beautiful song full of so much love. I hope you love it as much as I do. Here are the lyrics:


Dragon tales and the “water is wide”
Pirate’s sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you


Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams


The rocket racer’s all tuckered out
Superman’s in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, will find the mouse
And I love you


Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams


God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears “Amen,” wherever we are
And I love you


Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams

Meet our Max

I made this slideshow when I was feeling low today and missing my baby. It’s for those of you who did not get to meet Max, but who would have liked to if he’d only stayed with us for longer. I want to share the beauty and magnificence of my son with you all so you can see how very lucky we were to have him. There is both joy and sorrow in every image - a combination of emotions more powerful than any I’ve ever experienced. We played the music you hear at his funeral service. I’d love you all to watch it and remember him in a quiet moment sometimes.

What I'm going through

A lot of people keep saying to me that they can’t imagine what I’m going through. There certainly aren’t a lot of words to describe the pain, even for someone like me, and I’m having difficulty explaining it. The beautiful images in this video are perhaps a powerful way to show you the thousand faces of love and grief I’ve experienced since my baby was born. I watched it many times today. The lovely people at TLC, who made this video, have been in touch with me and offered me much comfort and support.

John Lennon - Beautiful Boy [1980]

When it came to choosing a song for Max that would be played at his funeral there was no question in my mind that this would be it. I’d already been playing it in the car for weeks since finding out I was having my own baby boy. Listening to it, I had felt so happy and excited that I would be having my own ‘beautiful boy’. Also, John Lennon’s name sat on a list I’d been compiling for Max of men who had changed the world, and who I hoped it he would one day look up to. Though the feeling I have when listening to this song is now one of intense grief and sorrow, I still think that it is one of the most beautiful songs in the world, and hope that one day I will be able to listen to it and smile again.

Roberta Flack - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face [1972]

We chose this song to close Max’s funeral service. I have always loved it very much, and Roberta Flack, too. Though I am a writer, I could not have expressed so simply or eloquently exactly how I felt when Max was laid on my chest and I glanced upon him for the very first time. * Note: Be sure never to listen to Celine Dion’s cover of this otherwise wonderful song. You have to promise!