Our baby girl, who has been hitherto been known to us as Peabody, has a real girl's name now. We'd kept a couple of favourites in mind over the last few months but neither of us seemed able to commit to naming her one or the other and all that this would entail - the imagining of her as a real person, bestowing upon her an identity we knew all too well could be so easily snatched away from us.
For me it felt reckless, as if I would be tempting fate to take her away from me. It was my psychiatrist, in the end, who managed to convince me that the sky would not fall in if we began calling her by her chosen name. She suggested that it might help us bond with her and prepare ourselves for her arrival.
And so, we came to call our little daughter Alice, whose birth we hope will bring with it her own special kind of wonderland to share. I love its classic simplicity. I love its literary allusions, especially after visiting Oxford and falling in love all over again with C.S Lewis's stories. I love that it doesn't rhyme with anything outwardly rude or horrible (the primary teacher in me coming out). I love that I've never known another Alice.
Her middle name will be Frances, after Les's mother who died three years ago. She never got to discover the joy of being a grandmother, and this is our small way of making sure she still has an important role to play in Alice's life.
Of course, Alice will also always know herself as Max's little sister. He will always be an important part of her identity; of our family's identity.
We are wishing Alice here safely with all of our hearts. Just a few more weeks, little girl. Just give us a few more weeks to ready ourselves for your arrival!
I just got the chills. "Alice" ... It is my grandmothers name. I've always loved it. She was the most amazing woman I've ever known. I'm so glad you get to call her by her name. I'm looking forward to "meeting" Slice very soon. Max I'm sure would be a wonderful big brother!
ReplyDeleteAlice is a beautiful name. I've always loved it. When I was pregnant with Alexander... it was a contender if he had been a girl.
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling of knowing you want to officially name the baby, or have a pretty strong feeling you're ready to settle on a name... but then hold back. Too cocky, too sure...I know the feeling.
But in the end, I've told myself no matter what way this all turns out... our baby will have a name.
I look forward to meeting Alice soon. Yes, it is just weeks now.
Remembering Max, in all his big brotherly love.
Sending my love to you
A beautiful name; just lovely. With our first pregnancy (twins) we decided on 2 boys names and 2 girl names, that my husband and I only knew. We had planned on using the names between the two of us once we found out gender. Unfortunately, we found out gender when they were born at 17w6d. With our subsequent pregnancy, we had names picked out really early, and as soon as we found out gender, we used his name just between us. I think it really did help me in our rainbow pregnancy to have his name, and use his name; it gave us hope knowing that no matter what happened, whether we go to bring him home or not, he was named.
ReplyDeleteLove, love, love both names, Alice Frances, much as I also love Peabody ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd I think it is wonderful that you have named your daughter. I felt the same way, that I would be tempting fate. Although, rationally, I know that it would be doing no such thing, you can't tempt, or protect yourself from, fate.
Just a few more weeks, hoping, hoping, hoping for you and your little Alice xo
Alice Frances is a beautiful, beautiful name. I hope the next weeks are as peaceful as they can be.
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